Sunday, October 28, 2012

Begin again

Miss me? Probably not.

After a slight bit of inspiration today, I decided that people need to hear my thoughts again. It might have something to do with posting a status that got 52 "likes" on FB. No really, I've been thinking about blogging again and even logged in to my blog account a couple of times. Most of my material last time was being mean about others. Either I was a moody pregnant woman or fear that my judgmental comments will result in Bryn's features resembling a troll or monkey has made me decide to be less hateful about people. Instead, I'll pick on myself.

I was scrolling through my newsfeed today and noticed nearly everyone was married. Even two "unfortunate" looking people. In my disbelief, I sent my best friend a text "they're married.... and I'm single". To which she replied, "they're not picky". Be that as it may, I have standards. Then I thought it over and decided.... she's right. Below you will find a list of reasons why I have chosen to discontinue potential relationships with otherwise really great guys:
  1. His lips were too thin.
  2. He was too short.
  3. His hairline was receding.
  4. He was too emotional.
  5. He had back hair.
  6. His breath was bad. (Admit it, this is always a deal breaker. Don't judge me.)
  7. His hand grazed my tata.
  8. There was a "friend" in his nose.
  9. I didn't like his phone voice.
and the most famous?? -10. He ice skates weird. No really, he was ice skating terribly. It was like he was walking.

What have I learned from these experiences? To buy Claritin and about 29 cats because I'm never going to find someone that I won't pick apart. If I don't find anything wrong with him, it's because I'm dreaming.

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