I'm a people watcher. I like seeing how people act, what they're wearing, how they're talking. Maybe I should say I'm a people criticizer because I don't just watch, I comment.
My mom and I were sitting at the baby doctor's office last week (I'm 14 weeks pregnant). The first thing I saw when I chose our seats was a cute old couple sitting to the left of us. They were holding hands, whispering to each other (I choose to think they were also being people criticizers) and you could just see how in love they were. The old lady looked at her husband and said, "Kiss me." I'm not much on PDA but it was precious. She shuffled her feet which caught my attention that she didn't have on shoes. I looked at her foot and it was so swollen, like 4 times normal size. She couldn't fit it into the shoe. They called her name and her husband went to get her paperwork, filled it out for her, turned it back in, etc. That's when I started wondering why was her foot swollen.... and why were they at the baby doctor? I still don't know. I've thought about them a few times since then. I know your feet swell when you're pregnant but she was like 70 years old. Surely not?
I was filling out my paperwork and heard the front door open. I, like everyone else does, looked up to see who was coming in the office. You may look to see if you know the person. I look to see who the next victim of my mental judgment is. I got an overload. Four people walk into the office, two men and two women. Let me take a break for a second to comment on the amount of people this woman brought. Three? Do you really need that many people? I hereby dub them the Insane Clown Posse. One of the guys could have easily passed for a sheepish emo girl and the other looked inbred. They choose seats in front of Mom and me. I never could tell which one was the pregnant woman because they both loved food and could have passed for 11 months pregnant (don't act appalled, you would have thought the same thing). One of the women picked up the Avon catalog on the side table. Avon wouldn't be able to save her. Thank the Lord they were facing away from me or else I would be able to carry on about them forever.
The cherry on my cake for this post is the younger girl sitting across from the Insane Clown Posse. At first glance she was a young mom bringing her newborn in for what was probably it's first check up. THEN, she stood up. Honey had on a tshirt that was fine in the front. The back of it looked like it had gotten in a fight with a werewolf. Think about the tshirts that were popular in the 80's that had slashes in them. That's what the back of her shirt was. She wore THAT to a doctor's office?! She was probably wearing that shirt the night she got pregnant. I'm all about dressing nice for a doctor's visit. I understand that not all people can afford nice clothes but the money she spent on that shirt could have bought her a solid color shirt from WalMart. They're only $5. I point her out to Mom who tells me to hush. Hush? At a time like this? No, she needs to hear me pointing out how distastefully she is dressed.
I'll turn the tables on myself. I figure since I pointed out other people's flaws in that office I could point out mine. I had on jeans that day that kept folding up at the end. Someone probably thought I had on "high waters" and needed to go to WalMart to buy a pair of $20 jeans that were longer. They were probably wondering where my "baby daddy" was and why was my mother at the appointment with me. Then someone probably wondered why I was asking my mom about all the medical questions I was having to answer on the questionnaire. To answer those- my baby daddy was at work and I have no idea about my medical background because I have never had to remember it thanks to dear ole Mom.