Wednesday, November 17, 2010

What I really want to say...

I'm pregnant and I'm new to this club (currently 4 months pregnant). People ask stupid questions. Below are the questions and the answers I would like to give.

Upon learning I was pregnant I received these questions:
Q: Are you and the father getting married?
A: No. A recent study shows that the baby will still be born even if the mother is unwed. Shocking, right?

Q: The baby is (my ex fiance's name) right?
A: No. I just went out to the bar, grabbed a random guy, had a wild night and here I am now. Didn't even catch his name.

Q: How did your parents take it?
A: They threw a party.

Q: Does the father know?
A: Nah, I'm just going to show up at his house one day after the baby is born and yell, "SURPRISE!"

I get these questions out in public now that it is common knowledge that I'm pregnant:
Q: Are you seriously pregnant?
A: No. I lied just to see what people's reactions would be.

Q: Let me see your belly.
A: If you lower your eyes approximately 2 feet that is where my stomach is. I know, I know... it's not the typical place for a stomach to be located.

Q: But you don't even have a belly?
A: I know. Crazy that I don't look like I'm 9 months pregnant when I'm only 4 months along.

Q: Do you know what you're having yet? (I was getting this at 5 weeks pregnant)
A: A baby.

Q: Can I touch your belly?
A: Can I touch yours?

**Obviously, I did not respond with those answers but I would have liked to. I'm sure the crazy questions are going to get crazier. I also understand that some of these questions were asked by people who have never been pregnant and I also know that I have probably asked a pregnant person a couple of those at some point in time. :)

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